Of wounded Lions and dead pop stars...
I had kept quiet about the British Lions' tour of South Africa up to now, deciding instead just to enjoy the games - and what brilliant games they have been.
However the brouhaha about the infamous Schalk Burger 'gouging' incident and what seems to be a continual whine emanating from the Lions camp has become somewhat irritating. Everybody seems to have had something to say, and it's quickly becoming a case of "same old".
Yes, Burger had his hand on Luke Fitzgerald's face. But if you watch the actual footage it is more like a baby pawing a kitten as opposed to an outright attempt at gouging. Burger is a hard player - who at times steps beyond the boundaries of recklessness - but he's not the sort of player who would try and take out an opponent's eyes with malice aforethought. Knowing Burger better than most, coach Peter de Villiers obviously felt the need to step in and defend him - and clearly went way beyond his usual madcap pitter-patter in doing so.
Anyone who has more than a passing interest in South African rugby will know de Villiers to be something of a loose cannon, a motormouth, a man well versed in the ancient art of putting-foot-in-mouth. Like Eric Cantona - also famed for making speeches that were otherwise incomprehensible - de Villiers has for a long time proved to be a constant source of entertainment; he has over what is a short time built up a collection of memorable quotes, some of which have passed into legend. The most recent additions to this ever-growing canon will no doubt be quoted for years to come.
What is clear however was that de Villiers was not condoning foul play - this is merely an invention by the British media to take attention away from the fact that at two-nil the series is now lost. He simply stated - in his own inimitable way - that the rough stuff is part of the game, that sometimes it may bubble over, and when it does those who come off second best should take things on the chin rather than run off blubbing like bruised children in search of some fellow with a video camera.
While all of us who enjoy the game would like to see foul play taken out of the equation, there is a very fine line between enforcing the rules and relying on a citing committee whose task it is to follow up on every complaint. A case in point is Springbok lock Bakkies Botha being cited for his charge on Adam Jones which resulted in the Welshman's shoulder being dislocated: if Jones had walked away nothing would have been said - Bakkies was simply being his usual self in attempting to do what he does best in cleaning out the ruck. This was but one of many potentially suspect incidents during what was a hard-fought game: de Villiers was simply pointing out that if the authorities went down the route of inspecting every possible incident we might as well give up on rugby and take up ballet instead.
Any line of defence I may offer de Villiers doesn't extend to his coaching abilities, however: the Boks have won this series not because of de Villiers' coaching, but in spite of it. Had someone like Jake White or Heyneke Meyer been in charge of what is clearly the most talent-rich team in the world at the moment, this series would have been wrapped up long before the first ball had been kicked.
Probably the funniest thing to come out of this however is the whinge from Lions and Ireland centre Brian O'Driscoll, who should be the last man to complain about foul play given that he is something of an old hand at it. O'Driscoll is well known for his whingeing: who can forget his rather pitiful whining when he came off second-best against All Blacks Keven Mealamu and Tana Umaga? Or the moaning after Ireland's pitiful display at the World Cup in 2007? Much has been made of the fact that BO'D is on his way home injured and will be missing from the final Lions test: perhaps somebody should point out to him that he would have made the team had he not crocked himself attempting to illegally charge Danie Rossouw.
In discussing the hapless O'Driscoll one should ensure that a differentiation is made between "whine" and "wine"; for while he is clearly an expert in the former, if he tried to move into the business of the latter the product would taste of vinegar on account of the sour grapes.
The Lions had their chances to finish the Boks off on Saturday, but instead of standing proud and applauding their opponents, they are are effectively saying that they could have won the game if the officials had provided them with a one-man advantage. The truth is that if de Villiers had made the correct selections at the start - playing pocket battleship Heinrich Brüssow instead of Burger and last-minute hero Morné Steyn at fly-half instead of Ruan Pienaar (who should have been moved to fullback in place of the disappointing François Steyn) - things would never have been so close at the end.
In a way, Burger's citing and subsequent eight-week ban might prove to be a good thing. It will not only provide him with further recovery time but will also mean that Brüssow starts at Ellis Park. I think we'll see a clear win this time for the Boks - I am predicting a 33-12 win.
It what has to be the silliest story of the week - I am hoping that it is just a ruse - Michael Jackson's body is set to be embalmed. Or "plastinated", according to the clearly bonkers doctor Gunther von Hagens. What we we hear of next? His body being displayed in an elaborate mausoleum like that of Kim Il-Sung where yout have to pay a fee for the privilege of shuffling past it?
The media's obsession with the so-called "King of Pop" will no doubt drag on through the summer as we get to hear more gossip about his sexuality, private life and bizarre relationship with his pet chimpanzee; I just wish they would put it all on one channel so that the rest of us who wish to watch the news can do so without seeing Jackson's rubbery face pop up every five minutes accompanied by some witless soliloquy by one of the many hangers-on. Every time I see that gaunt image of what looks like a Japanese ghoul, I image that Jackson is going to crawl out of the television - those of you who have seen The Ring will know what I mean. Scary.
Concerning the media madness I think Charlie Brooker has things down pat:
However the brouhaha about the infamous Schalk Burger 'gouging' incident and what seems to be a continual whine emanating from the Lions camp has become somewhat irritating. Everybody seems to have had something to say, and it's quickly becoming a case of "same old".
Yes, Burger had his hand on Luke Fitzgerald's face. But if you watch the actual footage it is more like a baby pawing a kitten as opposed to an outright attempt at gouging. Burger is a hard player - who at times steps beyond the boundaries of recklessness - but he's not the sort of player who would try and take out an opponent's eyes with malice aforethought. Knowing Burger better than most, coach Peter de Villiers obviously felt the need to step in and defend him - and clearly went way beyond his usual madcap pitter-patter in doing so.
Anyone who has more than a passing interest in South African rugby will know de Villiers to be something of a loose cannon, a motormouth, a man well versed in the ancient art of putting-foot-in-mouth. Like Eric Cantona - also famed for making speeches that were otherwise incomprehensible - de Villiers has for a long time proved to be a constant source of entertainment; he has over what is a short time built up a collection of memorable quotes, some of which have passed into legend. The most recent additions to this ever-growing canon will no doubt be quoted for years to come.
What is clear however was that de Villiers was not condoning foul play - this is merely an invention by the British media to take attention away from the fact that at two-nil the series is now lost. He simply stated - in his own inimitable way - that the rough stuff is part of the game, that sometimes it may bubble over, and when it does those who come off second best should take things on the chin rather than run off blubbing like bruised children in search of some fellow with a video camera.
While all of us who enjoy the game would like to see foul play taken out of the equation, there is a very fine line between enforcing the rules and relying on a citing committee whose task it is to follow up on every complaint. A case in point is Springbok lock Bakkies Botha being cited for his charge on Adam Jones which resulted in the Welshman's shoulder being dislocated: if Jones had walked away nothing would have been said - Bakkies was simply being his usual self in attempting to do what he does best in cleaning out the ruck. This was but one of many potentially suspect incidents during what was a hard-fought game: de Villiers was simply pointing out that if the authorities went down the route of inspecting every possible incident we might as well give up on rugby and take up ballet instead.
Any line of defence I may offer de Villiers doesn't extend to his coaching abilities, however: the Boks have won this series not because of de Villiers' coaching, but in spite of it. Had someone like Jake White or Heyneke Meyer been in charge of what is clearly the most talent-rich team in the world at the moment, this series would have been wrapped up long before the first ball had been kicked.
Probably the funniest thing to come out of this however is the whinge from Lions and Ireland centre Brian O'Driscoll, who should be the last man to complain about foul play given that he is something of an old hand at it. O'Driscoll is well known for his whingeing: who can forget his rather pitiful whining when he came off second-best against All Blacks Keven Mealamu and Tana Umaga? Or the moaning after Ireland's pitiful display at the World Cup in 2007? Much has been made of the fact that BO'D is on his way home injured and will be missing from the final Lions test: perhaps somebody should point out to him that he would have made the team had he not crocked himself attempting to illegally charge Danie Rossouw.
In discussing the hapless O'Driscoll one should ensure that a differentiation is made between "whine" and "wine"; for while he is clearly an expert in the former, if he tried to move into the business of the latter the product would taste of vinegar on account of the sour grapes.
The Lions had their chances to finish the Boks off on Saturday, but instead of standing proud and applauding their opponents, they are are effectively saying that they could have won the game if the officials had provided them with a one-man advantage. The truth is that if de Villiers had made the correct selections at the start - playing pocket battleship Heinrich Brüssow instead of Burger and last-minute hero Morné Steyn at fly-half instead of Ruan Pienaar (who should have been moved to fullback in place of the disappointing François Steyn) - things would never have been so close at the end.
In a way, Burger's citing and subsequent eight-week ban might prove to be a good thing. It will not only provide him with further recovery time but will also mean that Brüssow starts at Ellis Park. I think we'll see a clear win this time for the Boks - I am predicting a 33-12 win.
It what has to be the silliest story of the week - I am hoping that it is just a ruse - Michael Jackson's body is set to be embalmed. Or "plastinated", according to the clearly bonkers doctor Gunther von Hagens. What we we hear of next? His body being displayed in an elaborate mausoleum like that of Kim Il-Sung where yout have to pay a fee for the privilege of shuffling past it?
The media's obsession with the so-called "King of Pop" will no doubt drag on through the summer as we get to hear more gossip about his sexuality, private life and bizarre relationship with his pet chimpanzee; I just wish they would put it all on one channel so that the rest of us who wish to watch the news can do so without seeing Jackson's rubbery face pop up every five minutes accompanied by some witless soliloquy by one of the many hangers-on. Every time I see that gaunt image of what looks like a Japanese ghoul, I image that Jackson is going to crawl out of the television - those of you who have seen The Ring will know what I mean. Scary.
Concerning the media madness I think Charlie Brooker has things down pat:
"Across all the networks, a million talking heads shared their thoughts and feelings on his death. They had rung everyone in the universe and invited them on the show. On This Morning, a Coronation Street actor revealed he had once had tickets for a Michael Jackson concert but couldn't go because of the traffic. It was a sad day indeed. At 3pm, his death was still "BREAKING NEWS" according to Sky, which has to be some kind of record. Even 9/11 didn't "break" that long."Well, things have gone beyond "breaking news": it is more like breaking wind.
(Charlie Brooker, "Michael Jackson's death hit Glastonbury hard – and the news channels harder", The Guardian, 29th June 2009)
posted by Le grand méchant loup at
13:39
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