Posts Tagged driving

Mobile Moron

Mobile Moron

Only the other day I was writing about morons for whom their mobile device is the centre of the universe… Cue a story that pretty much sums up in a nutshell why I believe these individuals should be taken into their local town centres and flogged within an inch of their lives – before having having the device rammed down – or up, whatever takes one’s fancy – where the soleil doesn’t shine. Read the rest of this entry »

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Crazy Thursday

Crazy Thursday

When I left for work this morning, the fantasy death count was at 607. Some forty minutes later, it sits at 611. I don’t know what it is, but on some mornings it is as if some sort of cloud descends on the idiot community and exacerbates their symptoms – a bit of a problem if they happen to be using up the same road space as me. Read the rest of this entry »

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In it for another week at least…

In it for another week at least...

A few things to talk about today.

Germany are through to the second round of the World Cup following a cracking strike by Mesut Özil to beat a tough and very spirited Ghana side. Good news also that Serbia are on their way back home, having lost 2-1 to the unlucky Aussies. All in all a fairly balanced group, with Germany’s 4-0 thrashing of the Socceroos being put into better perspective with subsequent results. Read the rest of this entry »

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Another one bites the dust…

Another one bites the dust...

One more person to be added to the Fantasy Death Count this morning.

Heading into work, crossing the M40 at the Polish War Memorial. I am on the roundabout, and have my eyes focussed on the exit ahead. Cue some cloth-eared bint in a black Vauxhall Corsa slowly creep off the mark, making me apply the brakes. A quick hoot on the horn and a nasty glare elicits no reaction – no apology, not even a look that might suggest any form of guilt. Just that dead-eyed, vacant, stare-into-space look as she gormlessly continues on her merry way.

These morons should be removed from the roads.

On the subject of morons, we have yet another silly story concerning overrated pop diva Mariah Carey, whose request to have twenty white kittens accompany her for the turning on of the Christmas lights at the Westfield shopping centre has been mercifully refused.

I cannot understand why these overdemanding divas are not simply asked to foxtrot oscar; that said, I cannot understand why they are even invited to these sorts of events at all. Why do the Westfield management need some preening, over-plucked American banshee to turn on their Christmas lights? What can Scarey’s presence possibly bring to the shopping experience, save the additional traffic chaos caused by her almost presidential vehicular entourage?

Scarey is the poster girl for the pointless, and the only thing that would stop me punching this nauseating, ear-busting warbler straight in her irritatingly plastic face would be my (probably in this case misplaced) sense of chivalry. Though I suppose I could just ask Caroline to give her a slap around the chops instead.

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