My Big Bad of the moment – literally true as he is certainly big and very, very bad – is the leader of the ANC Youth League, Julius Malema. Or perhaps that should be Julius Melanoma, the new cancer on the political map of South Africa.
While it would be so easy to have someone just put a bullet in the back of this bellicose buffoon’s skull, it would actually make far more sense to provide him with the right length of rope so he can hang himself with it. Journalists should stick to a policy of asking him deliberately awkward questions, and respond only by laughing loudly when he gets all aggressive and starts making odd references to their “white tendencies” and starts calling them “bloody agents”.
Hello dere. Ma nem is Juli-arse and you are a blahdee ehgent.
In fact, I am proposing that the term “bloody agent” be used universally to insult someone you don’t like.
Forget all of your standard insults, racial or otherwise – if someone pisses you off, you just shout back “you bloody agent”. If things really get nasty you could call your adversary a bastard, but in your best Malema accent. Blahdee Baastaht. The good thing about this is likely to brighten the mood as the other person is more likely to break into fits of laughter than want to up the ante.
As well as the aggressive outbursts and silly quotes, another thing that has come of all of this discussion on Robert Mugabe’s Sandton-based protégé has been his school results. Not only did Malema finish high school in his twenties, he turned out what can only be called a spectularly bad set of grades. One of the current jokes is that if he were to become president, he would find it difficult to form a cabinet on account of his failing woodwork in school.
You can see his grades here – I’d also check out the rest of the site as well.
As I am writing this I have just heard some shocking news from elsewhere… Polish president Lech Kaczynski and his wife – and over a hundred other passengers – have been killed in a plane crash in Russia. Eek.
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