The folks at the Guardian really are so sad that it’s laughable. Having ditched the ailing Labour Party at the fag end of election campaign after the infamous “Bigotgate”, they threw in their lot with the Liberal Democrats and its charismatic if slightly slippery leader Nick Clegg. With Clegg and the Lib Dems having taken the common sense action by joining a Conservative-led coalition rather than some shonky Lib-Lab-Mickey Mouse mishmash, the poor and no doubt wounded Guardianistas feel all betrayed and slighted. Altogether now: Aww.

Not to worry anyway; I am certain that this bunch of flakes will no doubt be flipping back to Labour when one of the Millipede brothers or the wonderfully or rather appropriately-named Ed Balls takes the helm to lead their party into what I hope will be at least a decade in opposition.

While would would naturally expect the Guardian’s big guns – led by that nauseating windbag Polly Toynbee – to engage in a campaign of bitching and whining, one wouldn’t expect to find this sort of guff in something as banal as a report on the Europa League final. Having seen Roy Hodgson’s impressive Fulham side fall at the final hurdle at the hands of an solid Atletico Madrid, columnist Paul Hayward provided the following mean-spirited gem:

“Vote Roy prime minister” a banner read. Bit late for that. Privilege has already reclaimed that job.”

Poor form, Mr Hayward. “Privilege” has not reclaimed anything; an elected Conservative candidate has. Though it is fair to say that Roy Hodgson would have made a far better Prime Minister than Gordon Brown.

Elsewhere, in what is one of the first attempts by the new government to slim down bureaucracy, Education Secretary Michael Gove has had the silly NuLabour “Department for Children, Schools and Families” replaced by the very simple “Department for Education” – as it used to be known and as we have always called it. That’s twenty-two key presses saved, and less to take out of printer ink and toner budget…

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